japa hapa in seoul

Blog this!

2006-12-14T15:42:00.000+09:00

Friends, Romans, and poker fags: Lend me your ears. J/k!
I have been sooooo busy. Work is tough and I have been trying to finish my book of short stories. I promise to let you guys read them when I finish.
I saw a really bad car crash in front of my building last Sunday. This car skidded and as I turned around I saw the black car spinning completely around, well I saw the last 180 of it and smashed head on with a car that had slowed to a stop in the opposite lane. They hit exactly head on and then the spinning black car collided with a car travelling slowly in the opposite lane as well. No clear reason for the accident, but then again, Korean people have never needed an excuse to crash into each other. I suppose it would be not quite PC to say Korean people cant drive, so I willonly say that people in Korea cant drive. Can I get away with that?! Love you all and send me an eticket to the Las Vegas convention. I'll buy a Vanna dress or something.

Mel needs to relax

2006-11-23T10:36:00.000+09:00

I've been soooo uptight lately, and feeling really catty. I wrote this post and then deleted it about this hidious looking woman who has this snooty blog where she thinks she is better than anyone. You should see this post she ran attacking this director who made a film about English teachers in Korea. She disagreed with him that English teachers were experiencing the real Korea. Oh! Like she experiences the real Korea. Anywho, I deleted the post because I felt that it was a little bit too much. I mean, I still hate the creature, but I'll let it go.
One of the korean workers got fired on Monday. He is late for work more times than he is on-time and he has been repeatedly asked not to smoke in the hallways, there is no ventilation there. So, Mr. Nakamura fired him first thing Monday morning. He wanted to argue his way back into his job, but Mr. Nak wouldnt have any of it. Mr. Nak called security as soon as the Korean guy raised his voice and that cute young guard came up and took him away. We packed his shit up in boxes and Mr.Nak asked that a delivery service take the stuff to the poor bastard's apartment. I thought that was so cool. Mr. Nak is so stoic. Anyway, what have my poker faggots been up to? Hehe!

Korean Stalker

2006-11-04T11:16:00.000+09:00

So, this Korean guy follows me off the subway yesterday. And he is following me down the street and pretending to send messages on his phone, but I am sure he was taking pictures of my ass. I walk the long(and crowded) way to work and he is still about 10 meters back. This guy follows me into the lobby of my building. So as I am walking to the elevator, I hear the security guard ask my stalker what he wants. Our firm own the building and as it is a financial institution the security is a little tighter than normal. The security guys at our building are not the usual old man watching security cameras(sleeping). They are young, tough-looking trained security personnel. I turn back and walk over to where they are. The stalker says nothing really, only stutters and seems embarrassed. So I tell the security guard that he was following me and talking picture of my ass with camera. The security guy looked angry and said something like...Phone....Pictures...Police. I guessed what he said. Stalker gives him the camera and this pervert has the phone LOADED with pictures of women. Maybe we should have called the police because he might start doing crazier stuff to women later. But the security guy just deleted the pictures of me and sent him away after I got his business card, just in case. Creep.

Busy little girl

2006-11-01T18:35:00.000+09:00

I am sorry I haven't posted much, and most of all sorry to my poker faggot friends, as I affectionately call them! I was in Tokyo for 5 days earlier last month. My great uncle passed away. Even though I didn't like him much(at all) I went to the funeral. He used to call me by this Japanese word that was basically the half-white nigger. In front of me. My mother would smile behind clinched teeth and bow. I needed a vacation and I wanted to celebrate his death. I hope the Japanese nowadays are not like MAKAGUCHI KENJI.
Min-ha made a new boyfriend and was excited to have a drink with he and me together. We didn't do anything overtly lesbian, but the vibe was there and the body language and facial expressions were not to be missed. Min-ha wants to surprise him some day soon.
I have been reading the weblog of this stupid boring bitch named Jodi. He blog is boring and self-important but her dickhead friends might sayit is enlightened and erudite. Erudike, more like it. http://asiapages.wordpress.com/ check it out. Oh, and don't forget to see the trashy "formal" dress she wore and the streetwalker make-up she has on. She took this ugly bald-headed Chinese soldier, who is in the US navy. I hope he is not looking at any classified material. LOL! So, she says she is not dating him but her "fuck me I'm dressed sluty"appearance says otherwise. I am sure that that dress and that make-up blended in well at a military "cotillion" (Oh fuck! LOL!!!), but it wouldn't go over well where I am from.

J came by last night drunk

2006-10-12T12:33:00.000+09:00

It was late, too; Probably close to midnight. I was so tired from working and then going to the gym after work that I had just collapsed in bed without having eaten dinner. I didnt hear the doorbell, but I sure as hell heard the pounding on the door. As a matter of fact, several of my neighboors heard too. I know this beacause I could see one man's door ajar and I could see the little red light on the videophone that means someone is using the videophone to look into the hallway. I was so embarrassed, but even more so, I was furious. I let him in but flipped the doorstop to leave the door open a jar. He was appologetic, albeit in an arrogant way. He looks so cute when he is drunk and trying to persuade me to let him spend the night. He never makes eye contact and looks like a small child trying to convince his parents to give him another cookie or stay up late and watch cartoons. Cute but in a pathetic sort of way that makes you smile and want to vomit at the same time. I felt a tinge of sorrow for him, or was it empathy. But this soon turned to irritation; Like the way a nip in the air is pleasant until the chill comes. I asked him to leave. I did so with a smile on my face. My mistake. He took this to mean I still liked him or something. He put one arm on my shoulder and moved his face closer to mine to talk. But he didnt talk softer, but at the same volume. Irritating drunk. He put his hand on my waist and squeezed in a sexual way. I grabbed his hand by the wrist and rotated it towards his thumb. It is an aikido move that my oldest brother, Gareth, had taught me the day before he got shipped to the first Iraqi war. I tried it on Gareth many times and even though he was 6'2" and muscular, I soon learned that I could take him down every time. Well, J is no Gareth. Never was and never will be. I twisted his wrist and he winced in pain. I guess since I was angered I twisted to hard or too quick, but he fell to the ground, which shouldnt happen. He was wining and I was getting angry at this point. I told him to get up or I would break his wrist. He started yelling very loudly and I let him go. He got up and wasnt yelling, but talking loudly and getting abusive. I pushed him twice and his back hit the open down the second time. I stepped forward and pushed the door open all the way and the doorstop held it that way. At this point, there were several doors open and several neighboors watching. I told J loudly and in Korean(for the neighboors to hear, J cant speak Korean) that I will call the police if he doesnt leave. The college kid form across the hallway looks like a nice guy and he is kind of big. i think he just got out of the military as his hair is still short. He stared at J with a look of concern on his face. I am sure that he was ready to help, but J left, I told him never to come back again. "Fine," he said. He left. I went back to bed, but was upset and couldn't sleep. He is not welcome back here. Ever.

Strip Poker

2006-10-06T21:43:00.000+09:00

Since I got rid of Whatshisname, I have been lonely. I had Min-ha over for dinner and we drank beer last night. I told her about the poker gang that read my blog. She says she knows how to play poker and wants to show me. She says we have to play strip poker. So we both put on my winter clothes and started to play. She knows how to play so much better than I do so I was in spring clothes and she was still in Arctic wear. By the time I got down to my bikini, she was still in early spring. Everntually, I was buck naked and she basically jumped on me. She put such a deep scratch in my stomach from the big ass zipper on my down jacket.It was like a deep welt and I was pissed. She kissed it gently for me and I let her. I didnt learn all that much about poker last night but i did learn one thing. Two of a kind sometimes beats a full house. If you know what I mean.

J posted the last six posts!

2006-10-04T18:31:00.000+09:00

J stole my password for my blog and changed it. Then he posted the last 5 without my permission. I let him post on September 5th and then after that he changed the password and was posting crazy shit on my blog. WTF? He has been drinking alcoholicly and was verbally abusive to me. I broke up with him and actually had to go to his school to get him to tell me the new password for my blog. I am sorry for all that stuff he wrote. It's back to the old Mel from her on, I promise! Oh, my fans! And the poker gang. I miss you. Kisses to all, especially Ikky. I love you and prefer you.

all wounds point one way.

2006-09-28T21:09:00.000+09:00

Space Nakji-
That is the name that was given. It was said that she was with Min-ha, that she knew that J would be hurt, that she had something to gain from the endeavor. She tried to get me to meet her in Hogdae before. I didnt. I se now that this is part of the plot. The blood trial has let from the place it was . My cousinds have taken care of the former business. Space nakji will be made to pay. We are traking her. She will come under my knife personally. Vengence is mine. Any info will be paid for. Let me know.

my apartment was thrashed1

2006-09-18T20:12:00.001+09:00

It seems that J stole some money from a night club he was working for as a bodyguard. Min-ha was actually working at the room salon. That is how J met her. I think that Min-ha stole the money and hooked up with J in an attempt to hide the theft. Anyway, it worked and J took the abuse and the damage.
I will meet with Min-ha tonight. She doesnt know that I know anything. My cousins are flying in from Tokyo tonight. They are low level Yakusa, but will help family anytime.
There will be trouble and Min-ha will give up the money or regret being born. She will be under my knife if she lies. I am sworn to revenge J at all costs. We will see.
I am off to the airport. My cousins await.

my apartment was thrashed1

2006-09-18T20:12:00.000+09:00

update

2006-09-16T01:08:00.000+09:00

J got out of surgery two days ago. They releaved the pressure in his brain and he will probably make it. The trouble is that I went to his apartment and someone had bfroken in and trashed it. The police are coming there now.

J is in the hospital

2006-09-10T20:26:00.000+09:00

I can't believe this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really can't.
J got taken to the Yonsei severance hospital last night at 2 am. He had a cracked skull and had been run over by a car. The thing is, he looked like he had been in a fight first. He went into emergency surgery and is not expected to survive. He had to be flown by helicopter to the hospital. I dont know what to do. There is no one to call. J's parents have passed on and he has no family. I dont know what to do.
I'm sorry. That's all I can write.

poker fags die.

2006-09-05T04:32:00.000+09:00

Hey, How you doing?
I am Mel's boyfriend.
All poker faggots must die.
Fly to vegas,
lose your parents' money,
sell your assholes on the street,
take a pimp's shank to the stomach.
Die.
Have a super day!

p.s.-Come to Korea. We meet, we fight, you bleed.

Back to business as usual

2006-08-22T12:40:00.000+09:00

Well, I've been just back to going to work, heading to the gym, and hanging out with J. The folks at work are as needy as ever and need to chill out every once in a while. I swear, if the Koreans at work dont calm down I'm going to start dosing the water cooler with valium. The Korean men just walk around work all visably stressed out. Sometimes they come up to me all stressed, but I just tell them to talk to Mr. Makaguchi. The last thing I need is some wound up ajosshi taking his stress fest out on me. I just tell them to talk to Mr. Makaguchi and then ignore them. That really pisses them off, but what's a girl to do. Mr. Mak understands that I dont want to deal with them and he has told me to send any rude Koreans straight to him for de-worming. Well he didn't quite put it that way, but you catch the meaning, right? Oh! If one more Korean at the office looks down my shirt I will start kicking ass and taking names. The Japanese guys dont do that. Sometimes I think I never want to talk to another Korean man ever.No. I am sure of it. Min-ha is meeting me for dinner and drinks tonight. I dont think J will be coming. He just got back from a trip back to California and wants to sleep. He has been so cute lately, buying me small gifts and sweet talking me. I think he is really head-over-heals in love with me. Maybe I am too. I am not sure though.

Flight of Melinda

2006-08-14T09:04:00.000+09:00

Iakaris,
You fly too high with your professions of love for me, yet fly too low with the untermension of poker bottom-feeders who leave superfluous comments on the blog of a girl they have never met. If you love if true, then email to me directly. Oh_my_melinda. Otherwise, you do me dishonor to publicly mock me with your entries of the heart.

Back now!

2006-08-09T10:16:00.000+09:00

Hi everyone!
I just got back from Tokyo last night. I had a blast! Except, the people at my job were kinda worried about me. i made up some lame story about having visa problems because I was just having too much fun with my cousins. I am at work now and I was getting some looks, like why didnt she come earlier? Or was her story bullshit?
Anyway, we went out almost every night. Riko, my closest cousin, works at a hostess club. She has to go to work dressed up as a middle school girl. Her parents dont know, they just think she likes to hang out a lot with her boyfriend. She said she would get $30 if she got me to go for an interview, $50 if I put on the middle school girl uniform at said interview, and $100 if I worked there. It was kinda creepy. the japanese managers looked like yakusa, and Riko said they werent, but were controlled by them. I looked so cute in the uniform. I took pictures. No, you cant see them! So I worked in the club with Riko for 2 weeks. At first i thought I would get raped or something, but it was really fun. Sometimes the Japanese older men put their hands on you but it is only around the waist or on the legs. Really nothing sexual at all. And I got to practice my Japanese, and got paid and drank for free. Riko goes with a Japanese businessman who is about 50 years old. She gets him to give her about $5000 every month and she basically does what ever he wants. I am not into that, but she said he treats her well and is rather nice. It is good to be back home in Seoul though. J patiently waited for me. He really likes the middle school uniform I brought back. He wouldnt let me take it off, at least not all the way.

I'm back!

2006-07-20T11:07:00.000+09:00

This is a picture I took at work yesterday with my webcam.

I have been doing some translating for a Japanese company downtown. The need emails written in perfect English sent to their American partners in New York. Since none of the Koreans or Japanese at the office have any English skills really, the is what I do. Someone in the office will send an email to me, I make the English better and all business-like^^, and then send it to New York. When new York sends the email back, someone will give it to me and I will be asked to Translate it into Japanese and make it simple English for the Koreans to understand. Yes, it does sound difficult. And the number of emails is HUGE! OMG, I sometimes do 30 or 40 a day. So, this has been going on for almost a month now. Last week I was sick, sort of, and took the day off. They went apeshit! They called and begged me to come in. I didn't. The next day I sort of dropped the hint very tactfully and in Japanese, that I wanted to make my position more permanent. The day after that they offered me a job. They wanted to know how much money I wanted. I told them I would consider how much and tell them the next day. I actually had no idea how much to ask for. It is a lot of work to do. But I kinda sort of enjoy it. I asked J. J said I should ask them for 3 million won a month. I told them the next day and they agreed and began going into my schedule and what they accepted of me. I barely heard them as I was so shocked that they agreed to that much money. I will fly to Tokyo tomorrow as I need to get a new tourist visa and also I will visit my grandparents. They live there. Tokyo is a great place and my cousins who live there, the ones who are close to my age, always take me out and we have such a blast! Everything is so good these days. J and I have come to an agreement on Min-ha. If we have her, we have to have her together. Like a team, J said. That's all. I have to get ready to go to Tokyo. Bye!

suprise.

2006-07-13T11:15:00.000+09:00

I returned from meeting some friends last night and J was in bed with Min-ha. They were having sex. They werent even embarrassed by it. They just asked me to come and join but I said no and they just continued fucking. J didnt understand why I was angry. He is after all my boyfriend, but since we had already had a threesome with Min-ha he couldnt understand why i was angry. I just watched them fuck. Thats it. It was an awkward scene and I went over to spend the night at my Korean family's house. I couldnt tell them what happened other than that we argued. Now, I dont know if i overreacted or what. Was it really cheating on me? This is a wierd situation.

What a weekend.

2006-07-06T09:11:00.000+09:00

Last Saturday night was totally awesome. My boyfriend and I went dancing at the club where we first met. We had some drinks with J's friend earlier and went to Hongdae. There was this really beautiful Korean girl who was dancing with 2 other girls. That is common in Korea. We smiled at each other a couple of times. It was more like flirting. Her body was so hot. She had long black hair and a straight perm. Her body was thin, but athletic. She was wearing a short black sleeveless dress and it was tight across her body. Her breasts were very small, but looked perfect on her toned frame. I think she waited until J went to the bathroom, because as he did, she invited me to dance. I did. We dance and then a little closer and a little closer. I leaned in a brushed my cheeck across hers. She did the same later but I think she kissed my ear. It was the same as what I had done, but more. I put my arm on her waist. It was hard. I squeezed and she was seriously toned. Really hard. She seemed to like that and touched me the same way. I wanted her so bad. I had forgot about J. I don't know how long I had been with this girl. I looked over and J had a beer at the bar. He was smiling at me. I hoped he wouldn't be angry. I walked over to him with the girl and intoduced her to him. She was a university student at Yonsei. It is a really good school from what I heard. J knows that I am bi, but I didn't know what he was thinking now. I suggested that we go back to the bar where his friends were. It was closed. We ended up going back to our apartment with beer. At the apartment, I confessed to Min-ha that I was bi. She said that she was too. J just sat with his back to the wall and let the conversation go without him. What was he going to say? I moved in and kissed her gently. She did the same. It got more intense. I whispered into Min-ha's ear, "my boyfriend." And we both made our way over to J. Long story short, she didn't leave until late Sunday night.

Moved out, moved in

2006-06-19T12:02:00.000+09:00

Did not go to the institute like I said I was going to with my BF. We decided it was better to call in sick until they got sick and fired me. Meanwhile, Saturday BF and I moved all of my stuff into his apartment. He has a three room place and we kind of live together like we are married. He is super clean, but not to the point of being weird about it. I love him so much. He is so cute. So Monday I called in sick. Tuesday I called in sick. Wednesday I called in sick. Thursday I called in sick. Then Thursday afternoon I get this call from the director. He wants to know where I am. I told him I was at home. He said he and the head teacher are knocking on the door to my apartment now and I am not answering. OMG! I quickly changed the story to being at my BF apartment and guess what they did. They went inside my apartment!!! Can they do that!!!??? Then they started asking me where my things were and they sounded angry, so I hung up. Friday they called back and said I was being fired. I asked about the release letter and they said they wouldn't give me one. I cried and hung up. My BF called the director back and talked to him for 15 minutes. BF talked and director yelled. When the director yelled me BF would hold the phone away from his ear and make funny faces. Did I mention how cute he is?! Somehow he got the director to agree to give me a release letter. I asked him how he did it and he said that you have to shame them into giving it. He said the reputation of the school should be more important than a letter. He was very convincing. Thanks Babe!

Long time no blog

2006-06-07T08:56:00.000+09:00

It has been a long time since I blogged and there are several reasons for this. First, I don't have a PC at my home so I have to go to the PC room. Eww. Too many smokers. Every one is a smoker. I almost get asthma or something just being there. Reason number two is that I am quitting my job on Friday. Well, actually after they put my salary into my bank account. What will I do? Well you might be suprised but I am moving into my boyfriend's apartment. Crazy right? But Melinda! You haven't even been working there but only a little bit more than two months. And Melinda! You have been dating him even less than that! Well, whatever! I love J and he loves me. And it was kinda his idea to move in together. I mean, we had been almost living at his place as it is. His place is a lot bigger than mine and the boy keeps a clean place, I'll have to give him that. He told me that I can stay at his place and find privates or get a new contract if the school will let me. He says he will take the day off on Monday and go with me to the institute to quit. I don't know if they will be super-angry or what. Koreans kind of have bad tempers. I don't know the logic of this decision but I can't work there anymore. Everytime they ask me to please understand them I want to scream. No more bullshit.

the inevitable downward spiral

2006-05-16T11:15:00.000+09:00

The job has gone from bad to worse and i am really upset. I have a serious disliking for the manager and we had words on Friday. He said I was trying to be part of the team because I have been insisting that they fix up the crappy appliances at my place. The washing machine is useless and J(my boyfriend) has been doing my wash. He smiles and says he doesnt mind, but I don't know that I believe him. Yesterday he came by my place with an empty duffle bag and stuck all my dirty clothes inside and took them back to his place.
"service."
Still I wonder how long he will be sweet to me. Sometimes guys can be such jerks, but he is almost too good to be true, so maybe he is. The manager of my hogwon said I was unreasonable and acting "child-like" because I insisted that he get me a new washing machine and a new wardrobe. It's falling apart. I told him that if he wanted me to understand him as he always says that he must try to see things from my view too. He just started talking about something totally different and I walked out of his office. He came after me and talked very loud in front of staff and some students. I was humiliated. I had to go back into his office. What an ass! J says that I don't have to take his shit, but that I need to be carefull, too. He thinks the best plan would be to mess up at work and get fired. Like come late and be rude to the students so they complain. He says that if I quit, that the manager will not release me from my contract and that I won't be able to work untill next year. So, I hope some of you reaing this will advice me as to weather J's plan is a good one or not. I am scared.

I posted my last post on my boyfriend's blog by mistake!

2006-05-08T13:11:00.000+09:00

Read my last post and just imagine how my boyfriend felt when I accidentally posted it on his blog. Ok, so we were drinking at his place and a little bit drunk. And I just logged into his blog by mistake and put in the entry. We just realized it this morning. He had this look on his face and his mouth moved but no words came out. Then he kind of chucled, smiled and said "But my mom reads my blog." Haha! We laughed and laughed. Sorry Baby!!!

I will not be quitting.

2006-05-08T13:10:00.000+09:00

My boyfriend(Yes! He is my boyfriend now!^^) convinced me not to quit.Actually, he said go ahead and quit, but I would have to move into his apartment and be his maid/slave. He is so wierd sometimes. I wasn't sure if he was serious or not because sometimes I am not sure whether he is joking or not. I think you call it a dry sence of humor. We have been going out, or staying in, together every night for the past week. I think he really likes me. He is like, mid-30's though. But if everything stays good between us, that's all that matters right?

I am seriously considering quitting on the tenth.

2006-05-04T14:13:00.000+09:00

Well they won't fix my washing machine and won't buy me a new one. The stove top is rusty. The apartment is nice, but the stuff the school provided is shit. I should just quit on the tenth after I get paid. Plus they are so mean to me at work. "Please understand me" the director says and then won't fix my apartment. "You have to understand my situation" and then takes more money out of my paycheck. All they do is take and all I do is give. I'd rather go back to Winnetka.
The guy I met last weekend called. We went out for dinner and drinks. He made me eat dried squid. It was kinda good. It tasted like beef jerkey, or something. I think he wants to get close to me, but he didnt even touch me, so I don't know. I like him and we have fun together. It's nice being with someone who thinks the same way I do and genuinely laughs at my stupid jokes.

Things are up and things are down

2006-05-02T16:09:00.000+09:00

I went out to a club Saturday night and met this guy. He was wearing these black knickers with Japanese letters on the side. I asked him if he knew what they meant and he said,

"You're special."
"Ah...........No. It means happiness."
"No. I meant that you are special."
Oh, God! It sounded like such a line, but the way he said it was so sincere. I asked him why, as I chuckled. He said I was different than everyone else in the room. I looked special. I dressed differently than the other people there and had my own style, not trendy but unique. He said I had poise and grace. He asked me if I was a dancer(actually, I took ballet for 15 years. Thanks Mom!). We talked for 10 minutes and he asked me to go get dinner because we were both hungry and it was hard to talk over the music. We talked until the next morning. We seemed to have so much in common. But he's like, almost 10 years older than I am. But he made me feel good about myself. He knew a lot about the job market and told me what to do if I wanted to quit my job. His advice was basicaly not to freak out. If you want to quit, do it the day after payday and have a place to crash set up. He suggested staying at a month to moth hotel-like place for college students, I forget what it's called. I gave him my number and told him about my blog, but he hasnt call me. Hey guy, what's up?!

I want to quit my job

2006-04-27T11:19:00.000+09:00

I hate this place with a passion. I have no friends here. The other teachers are dorks and nerds. The students are creepy. The administration treats me live they own me or something. I am not going to take any of their bull. They tell me what to do like I am in the army or something. The apartment is cute, but the furnishings are so old and the washingmachine is pink. It looks like a Mattel toy or something. And in the spin cycle, it doesnt spin quick enough to get the water out of the clothes so I have to wring the clothes out by hand. They sent this little man over to fix it. he couldnt speak English at all. he kept looking at everything in my apartment like he wanted to take notes. He saw this tank top I had hanging next to the window and he kept staring at it. He was gross. The other teachers just go drinking and talk about Koreans are like this and Koreans are like that. I'd like to make up my own mind, thank you. Geeks. No possible way to befriend any of them. And this stident complained about me because she said i was bored in class. She said I looked at the clock a couple of times so I must be bored. Whatever. I have to manage the classroom time. Time for lesson warm-up then lesson then review. What a bitch. I want to quit that job. It's not like I don't still have money. I dont need this job or be homeless. i wish someone could recommend a website or maybe if someone know of a good job. Anyone?!

kinda sad

2006-04-21T11:27:00.000+09:00

What is it with me? It is not like me to be this way. Lately I have been crying at the drop of a freaking hat. This is not like me. Normally I only cry when I'm really mad, or watch a sad movie. But now it's like I'm not me anymore. I don't get it. I wonder if it is just stress and being totally exhausted. Tonight as I sat in the middle of my living room and just cried and cried, I felt like I was in a really really bad movie. I had this almost outer body experience as I looked down at myself and shook my head and said "Get a grip of youerself girl!".

lookalikes? No.

2006-04-13T14:00:00.000+09:00

Someone compared me this this girl, Deanna Kim. Loser. Oh, yes, we both have brown hair and brown eyes, so we look alike, right? No. I do not look anything like her, but she is so hot. I must have downloaded 20 pictures of her, at least. I think she is a singer. Oh, and the picture of me at the pool, guess if that's a man or a woman with me?

Chat with Melinda!

2006-04-10T12:37:00.000+09:00

Ok everyone. Let's see how this goes! From 12 to 1 monday through friday you can chat with yours truly on yahoo messenger.

oh_my_melinda @yahoo.com

Let's see if that works without the wierdos showing up.

lazy blogger

2006-04-10T11:32:00.000+09:00

I just realized that I haven't written anything in more than a week and so I'm a total lazy blogger. Last week was so busy. I didn't think it would be so hard to work at the institute but the hours are a killer. I have to be at work by 6:45 for my first class at 7am and then work until 11 o'clock. Then I have this HUGE break until 6pm and have 2 more classes. It wouldn't be so bad except for that Huge ass break. The students are so curious about me. They said I look like this half white and half korean singer, but I don't know who she is. If anyone can show me a picture of her, thanks! They say she's cute. I have been getting such creepy vibes from some of the male students in my classes. I teach adults, and mostly university students in the area. Some older 'salaryman'(whatever) in my classroom act like they've never been close to a woman before. I swear, they look at me like they would so jump me anytime. Like as if. And the university guys are no better. Everyone asks the same questions over and over again. It is getting old. I shouldn't answer them anymore. Friday night I wanted to go out to some clubs cause I've been hearing some good things, but i was so tired and had to go out to work with the people from work. More of the same questions that the students asked. Boring. Bald Canadian guy hit on me. As if! He gave me his number and told me to call him if I needed his help, day or night. The night part was the creepiest part unless you could see the near-leer in his eyes. So gross.

Lame photographer

2006-03-31T13:57:00.000+09:00

My friends and I were asked to pose by my friend's pool for this lame photoshoot last summer. This is the best photo the lame photographer could come up with?! We looks like total dorks. And the quality of the photo sucks in the dorky little magazine it came out in. We didn't even get paid. Now everyone in my hometown has seen this picture. I am so embarrassed.

out and about on the town

2006-03-31T11:06:00.000+09:00

Since yesterday was the end of the teacher's training, the class and some of the other teachers decided to go out for a drink. There were 4 girls and 2 guys. We went to think bar in shinchon and had draught beer. It was ok. That freaky Canada guy went but he wasn't staring at me last night. He actually almost seemed normal. I guess that he was nervous doing the teachers training and focused on one person(me!) to help him get through the training.
There was this other Canada girl who might actually be cute, but she had no idea what to do with her hair. I mean, she's almost 30 and can't find a hairstyle?!?! I'm not a snob, but she could us a little work.
All of a sudden these two Korean guys come over with their beers and ask if they can join us. Stalkers! They were so creepy. They had these pasted on smiles on their faces and leered at the women, like they were putting out the vibe to the girls at the table. I was almost sick, I swear to you. They spoke in these long drawn out words like."Wheeere arrrre youuuu froooom?" Oh! They dork #1 spilled his beer onto Bald Canada and I couldn't stop laughing, I swear! He looked like he totally pissed his pants. And since he was wearing tan, it looked wet all night. Creepy Korean guys wanted to take us somewhere else to drink soju. No thanks! Sorry. No takers. As if we wanted to go get totally lit on hrad alcohol with them. At least they didnt follow us out of the bar.

Who am I here?

2006-03-30T11:02:00.000+09:00

The teacher's training ends today. I am glad. This 40 year old balding Canada teacher is really starting to piss me off. He just looks at me almost the whole time he training. Hello? What about the other students?! I can't keep constant eye contact with him, it's wierd. Why is he making me feel so uncomfortable? I thought about asking him to stop it, or giving him a dirty look, but I would just be alienating him and he would probably talk about me behind my back. Loser!
There is this cute guy in the school who seems like he is popular with everyone, especially the Korean students. I think he looks at me when he thinks I'm not watching, but I am. I saw him totally checking me out when I was putting my stuff in my little cubicle. I had to bend down to do it and his eyes shot right to my ass. I saw him in the window reflection. He saw I saw. He got all nervous and wouldnt make eye contact with me the rest of the day. It was so funny. Sometimes I hope he'd just ask me out, but it has been so long since i was with a guy. I miss being with guys, but I think no guy will understand me like a woman would. I feel more able to open up to another girl and show my feelings honestly and openly. I don't even know how to find another girl here anyway. How depressing.

I found a place!

2006-03-29T09:10:00.000+09:00

It is so cute! I took Kushibo's advice and found a place on the top floor of a small apartment building. I can see Shinchon from my batroom window and front deck. The deck is covered in pots that have some stuff fermenting in them. I hope the smell doesnt get bad in the summer. I went out and bought some lamps and other little things because the school only gives me a bed, stove, washing machine and things to live. There is no kitchen stuff or anything to really make the place nice, just enough to live in. But I am so excited. I never lived apart from my family before, I never lived alone, so this is really cool. I can't wait to make friends and have a party.

Loser!

2006-03-28T09:38:00.000+09:00

Cingular not the only one with American Idol Ringtones!
Cingular might be the biggest mobile giant in the US but we have them beat here!
Pick any Idol song you want
Pick any part of the song you want
NOT PRE MADE!!
Send it to your phone via text message
Save money! Ours are $$.50 cheaper!

Oh, I got spammed by these Uber-geeks! Oh, can I have American Idol ringtones on my cellular?! Holy shit!!!! What a great idea!!!!! I can listen to crappy music even when I am answering my phone?! Wow! Maybe I can get the ringtone of the singer Simon Cowell abused the most. Oh! I'm gonna email these geeks a virus, I swear to God!!!!

Family is family

2006-03-27T09:07:00.000+09:00

It would be easy for me to say that family is chosen, not given, and that wherever I feel comfortable is where home is. But they're there, and there's no where else I can belong to, whether I want to or not. I didn't have to go search for another place, another home, because mine's still there for me. But my family is not the most progressive one you can find.
While my parents are very liberal minded in many ways, in others they are still quite conservative. My mother is THE traditional Japanese woman, Japanese family values, and addition to that she is a devout and faithful Catholic. See, my problem is I have to walk the line between respecting their beliefs and their hope for me to find my way to be happy, and just to ignore their idea of what my happiness is and look somewhere else for guidance and recognition.
So, here I am in South Korea. It's not at all a horrible thing -- if you take the "right" steps and do the right things, you'll have lots of people to share your joy and accomplishments with, and I can't deny enjoying moments of family gathering when the occassion arose. Growing up in a fairly tight family (extended included), I have to admit that receiving approval from my family in all aspects of my life is something that would make me happy. I know, a lot of people tell me my happiness is my own to seek, and I don't need to accomodate my family to achieve that. It doesn't have to be their business. But even if you may not understand, it is.
Even though I live across the Pacific Ocean from the rest of them and I'm pretty much free to do anything here, I feel that eventually I'll have to answer to them. All of them. I couldn't say no, even though I knew I wouldn't try that hard.My struggle with my family is this: I know they love me, I know I'm accepted, but I can't find my place in it. I can't turn my back on them -- I really have no reason to, and it would be the most horrible thing to do after all the love and patience they've given me.
Family's family, and it is what it is. I don't know if you believe that members of a blood family share something special between them, maybe genes and whatever form they manifest in. I suppose I do, even if I might just be brought up or taught to. But I am who I am because of them, I can't deny that. If I turn away, I'll be denying a part of myself. I remember my dad once said to me, "Of course you might get along better with your friends. You chose your friends; you didn't get to choose your family. But you'll come to realize that family is something different: friends come and go, and at the end of the day, your family will still be there for you."So I guess even if I wanted to walk away, they'd still be there.

I miss her, but don't want her

2006-03-24T09:52:00.000+09:00

I tried to cut her out of my heart like I cut her out of the profile picture, but it was easier done in the photoshop. How do you know your girlfriend is in love with you? I mean, it wasn't really supposed to be love, we were friends, but we liked each other so much since middle school and we do have feelings for each other.
I've only been in one relationship with a woman, and that was it. So, strictly speaking I can't really work it out, I can only tell you what I know. Well, for the first few months of our relationship, I mean when we were into each other, we lived so close by each other and we've put up with a lot from each other. I know I'm the first person she'll come to when she's sad, happy, worried...anything.And she told me she loved me every day. But I think love is about trust. I trusted that she loved me.
There is no official piece of paper you sign that says you love someone, there's no promise you make or anything that guarantees you are in love. Love is trust. I trusted that she wouldn't go off with anyone else, I trusted that she wouldn't keep huge secrets from me or go off and live another life.And I trusted that if, one day, she decided she no longer wanted to be with me then she'd tell me.
That didn't happen and I knew she was dating that asshole behind my back. If she had been honest, then we could have at least tried to make a compromise, but no! I had to find out from everyone else that she was with him. I just want to forget, but I cant.Why?
Now I am 9000 miles or so away from there. I have to restart my life again here in Korea. I will forget what happened and try to be happy for me, and only for me. It is kind of scary, because I never lived alone or that far away from home. I mean, I even commuted to university, so this is the first time I'm on my own. It Melinda's big adventure!!!

2006-03-23T16:31:00.000+09:00

Welcome to my new life!

2006-03-23T15:31:00.000+09:00

So, I just got into Seoul this past Monday. But I don't start teaching classes at the institute until April 3. Oh my God! I can't believe that I really came here! I have no idea how to teach and no idea about Korean people. They stare at me everywhere I go. It is soooo creepy. Why are they looking at me? It's not like I don't see other foreigners around.
I made some new friends at the teacher's training class. But most of the people look so boring. I mean, this Canadian guy asked me what my favorite color way. How weird is that?! I just totally lied to them about my whole life. What am I supposed to say: "Hi. I'm Melinda. I'm half-Japanese and half-straight. A couple of the teachers at this school are kind of hot, both boys and girls, so I hope we can all get to know each other." Right. "Oh, and I come from near Chicago." No, I do not have an accent asshole bald man. I can't believe how totally weird some of these dorks are. I hope it's not going to be one of those loooong years. I hope I have made the right choice.
I still haven't found a place to stay yet. I am staying at this really sick little hotel. It's like some kind of sex hotel, or something. It is sooo disgusting. I have got to get out of here and get a place to stay, pronto.